// I’ve always wanted a bouquet of roses on valentine’s day. //

(Source: jferxbaybee, via emerrie)

// If you’ve never had anyone you know die, you need to listen up.//

As you all know my friend Shannon passed away this past Christmas eve. At one point Shannon was my very best friend and for a long time, my ONLY friend. Shannon was me only more pretty, more wild, and more creative. We were fun together. Now, a the time of her death it had been about a year since we’d really hung out together which I blame on myself really, I could have called her. Anyways, she went to a different school and we kind of when our own ways. Well it’s really strange that she’s dead. She’s not there anymore. She no longer exists. And I can’t call her, I can’t text her, I can’t even run into her at the supermarket. You’d think it wouldn’t really have any affect on me since she’d been out of my life for a year but it’s like the second I knew she couldn’t be here anymore, the more I wanted her. Shannon played a role in my life that was huge at one point but two months ago, very minor. Now picture your best friend passing away right now. Your boyfriend. Your mom. Your sister. It’s so scary that I want Shannon back so bad that I stay up some nights trying to understand everything and in all honesty, she wasn’t even a part of my life anymore. I get so afraid of what would become of me if someone very close to me today, died tomorrow.

Guys, appreciate those in which you surround yourselves with daily. You can’t function without them, trust me. If this is what it feels like to have someone minor taken, it must kill to have someone close die. I miss Shannon more than anything. I can’t even comprehend what it would feel like to loose and miss someone with a more prominent role in my life. Go tell someone you love them.